This is a period of deep thought for me, and if you are one of my friend's reading this, sorry if I've pushed you away in the last several weeks. Sometimes it is hard having everyone, including your junior high friends, see what you do all day and look at your new photos. I feel a deep loneliness, but a desire to recoil from everyone at the same time. It would be nice to have a beagle to keep me company. I guess I don't want any one's opinion on what I should do in my life right now, or for them to be updated on what I'm doing. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions, my past and my present.
I never knew I could have such deep heartache, maybe I've never really experienced love before. There is a love that grows through the years, with the one you promised to spend your life with, a familiar comfortable love, but it isn't the same. New thoughts, new plans swirling around in my head, and I don't even want to look at any of my online sites or talk to anyone. I just feel strange.
So what can I do, but read, write, and bake? I love all three.
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