Soul Searching

I've been doing a lot of soul searching these last couple weeks, and throughout the last few months even though I didn't know I was doing it. It's amazing how one person who you meet on a chance encounter can have such an affect on your life. Was it a chance encounter though? I have been drawn to the exact place that I met him for years. I would drive past it on the highway and feel like I had to exit, increasingly over the last few years, and the few months before I met him there, the pull was overwhelming. I think back to other turning points in my life, how I had that same uncontrollable urge to do or go somewhere.

I had to go to Germany, I didn't understand it. I don't even understand how I ended up taking German rather than Spanish in college. The Spanish classes were full, so while still ordering my classes on the phone, I flipped through the catalogue and decided to take German instead. I met someone there who has had a huge impact on my life over the last ten years. We met with only a five minute window, and if either of us had been a few minutes slower or faster, we never would have met at all. I remember racing to the the U-bahn station to make the last one that went all the way to my house, having missed it before, and not wanting to walk through the asparagus farms in the dark again. We were the only two people in the station. I took my first job in SoCal working with wildlife because of him, his sister lived there. I owe all my work experience to him. I wouldn't be in this seat today without him, and wonder were I would have been if I was five minutes later to that German U-bahn station. Some other job, some other place for sure. I wonder if my brother, who died ten years ago, has had any affect from the underworld on these life changing decisions. Can loved family members do that? Or does their bond to you die when they no longer have any evolution connection to you? Or is there some path of destiny that we all follow, not understanding why?

I never understood the drive that sent me to college either, I just knew I would do it.